Was David too harsh or too soft in bringing Absalom back? Either way, it didn’t work out well.
For three years, Absalom had hidden in Geshur after his murder of Amnon. “And King David longed to go to Absalom” (2 Sam 13:39). Joab, the master of palace intrigue, decided to break the deadlock. Six miles south of Bethlehem lies Tekoa, where there lived a wise woman. He asked her to dress like a mourner and gave her a script to deliver to the king. “So Joab put the words in her mouth” (14:3). The story went like this: A widow, she had two sons. In the field one day, an altercation broke out, and one son killed the other. Now the family wanted to execute the living son. “So,” she pleads, “they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant” (v 7). Fair enough, says David. Go home and let the people know I’ll deal with the issue. But that isn’t good enough for the woman. She wants a clear declaration from David that could be applied to the safe passage for Absalom. So she asks to say something more. “And he said, ‘Say on’” (v 12). The woman says, “We will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him” (v 14). No use crying over spilled milk—or spilled blood, either! At this point, David realizes she looks like a mourning widow, but she sounds like Joab! That’s how little he values human lives. “So the king said, ‘Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?’” (v 19). But the scheme works, and David gives Joab permission to return Absalom. “But,” said the king, “do not let him see my face” (v 24). Now, David! Is that the kind of grace God showed you? Lord, help us offer grace to others in the same generous way we receive it from heaven.