Fostering growth
We’ve been considering the elder’s duty to first be a godly father; to prove himself in his own house before he accepts the responsibility to lead in God’s family. Our first article dealt with the father’s own spiritual life and the necessity of a godly example. Next, we suggested that we carefully examine our motives for our children. Is their spiritual well-being our first priority? Do we long to see them not only get saved, but flourish spiritually?
In this article, we desire merely to make some suggestions of practical ways a father can help his children to prosper in their spiritual lives. The list is far from exhaustive. Also, there is no doubt that the list could differ from child to child. But there are some general areas that a father would do well to consider and periodically evaluate in his efforts to raise his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
• Read the Bible and pray together daily as a family.
• Teach them the truths of the Word of God so that they have a well-rounded knowledge of the Bible. This is not the job of Sunday school.
• Train them to be discerning and to apply the Scriptures to daily decisions.
• Take opportunities to speak about spiritual matters informally—“when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
• Teach them how to read the Bible and pray for themselves.
• Train them for outreach: how to clearly give their testimony; praying for opportunities; etc.
• Encourage the singing of spiritual songs.
• Be devoted to hospitality so that the children grow up in the constant enjoyment of Christian fellowship.
• Impress upon them that attendance at church meetings is not less important than attendance at school or work.
• Encourage not only attendance at meetings, but attentiveness and appropriate participation. Impress upon them that it is not only important to be attentive, but to look attentive.
• Teach them that they are to be active in serving in the assembly and help them to find a role.
• Train them to handle their finances in a godly matter. Faithful in little, faithful in much. Children who have never been in the habit of giving to the Lord won’t suddenly develop that habit at age 25.
• Teach them to seek out friends who are not only saved, but serious about spiritual matters (1 Cor. 15:33).
• Encourage healthy spiritual habits: listening to recorded Bible messages, reading good Christian books, writing missionaries, attending conferences, etc.
• Foster Christian character. This is essential even in what might be considered “little” areas: cheerfulness, manners, helping others, etc.
Ensure that they treat their siblings with love and respect. Harmless bickering isn’t harmless. The church is a family. Children who have been raised to think family squabbles are acceptable will be difficult and irritating in the local church as well.
• From an early age, give them appropriate chores and expect them to complete those chores properly and cheerfully. In doing so, we are preparing them to be pleasant and productive workers throughout their lives.
Certainly both father and mother are vital in each of the above. But, as those entrusted with leadership in the home, the father is ultimately accountable. The personal work, discipline, prayer, and burden required to help our children in these areas will serve a man well as he seeks to also lead in the local assembly.