How important to be an example to both family and flock!
One of the requirements of an elder is that he be a man who manages his own household well (1 Tim. 3:4). Faithful in little, faithful in much. So the Lord instructs that we should wait until a man is capable of leading his own house properly before we let him attempt to lead God’s house, the local church.
With this in mind, men should consider what they are doing to encourage spiritual growth and service in their own homes. It is wonderful to see children saved in Christian homes. It is also commendable if those children are raised to have the high moral standards that the Scriptures demand. But that is only the beginning. Genuine spiritual leadership in the home has the aim of producing children who are not only saved and moral, but who are deeply devoted to and passionate about the Lord and His work. Christian fathers ought to understand that spiritual leadership in the home is not seen in shallow terms of “I set the rules.” Rather, it is a high calling to lead our homes so that our children grow up to genuinely love the Saviour and be vitally involved in eager, whole-hearted, sacrificial, life-long service.
Accomplishing this will require first of all that Christian fathers set the example. It’s relatively easy to behave ourselves during the few hours each week occupied by church meetings. But what are we like in the vast amounts of time we spend in the privacy of our homes? I’m reminded of the Christian wife who asked her husband, “Why don’t we try something different this week? How about you be charming at home and grumpy at church?” Our children are affected by our example far more than by our words. Take a few minutes and consider what they’re learning as they watch us.
• Is it evident to our children that we love the Lord?
• Do they see that we are daily in the Word of God?
• Are we known to them as men who are devoted to prayer?
• Do we demonstrate Christ’s love for the church in the way we treat our wives?
• Do we model the fruit of the Spirit in our words and conduct with our family and others?
• Are we committed to the assembly and its activities?
• Do they see us active in sharing the gospel?
• Do we speak of spiritual matters often and naturally?
• Do we demonstrate peace and faith in difficulties, or do trials easily shake us?
Our personal example in the home will either underscore or undermine any spiritual work we hope to see accomplished in our children. This is an important lesson for any man to learn in his home before seeking to lead the assembly. Too often, men want to lead their families and assemblies by command, largely ignoring their example. But a faithful example is necessary for it provides both the moral authority for healthy leadership and a pattern for others to follow. As the Lord instructs through Peter, “nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:3).
In our next issue, we hope to consider some specific ways in which Christian fathers can encourage their children in spiritual growth.