Is there a man in your assembly who meets all of the requirements of Titus 1:6-9 except that he is not married? If so, you are blessed indeed. He is free to serve in the fellowship without the distraction of caring for a wife and family (1 Cor. 7:33-35). The godly qualities he possesses mean that he is qualified to counsel others. Some might want to add, “…but not about family life.” We are not so sure. The fact is that people tend to seek counsel of those who inspire their confidence, sometimes asking help from those who do not have personal experience but who know the Word of God and can apply it with conviction and discretion. But see our last paragraph for more on this.
Let me digress. What we have just said about the value of having single men in the church, whose testimony is without reproach, also applies to single women who work within the bounds prescribed for them in the New Testament. Let us be thankful for them and leave room for their service according to their gifts. No godly woman will want to assume responsibilities that are not hers or go beyond Scripture, as is sometimes feared. But the word spoken concerning deacons, “…let these first be proved, then let them serve” should be applied to all who are recognized as “servants of the church” (1 Tim. 3:10; Rom. 16:1). A true elder who, with his wife, has a well-ordered home and is given to hospitality, provides a home which singles of both sexes can visit and be guided as to how they may best use their gifts and fulfill needed ministries in the assembly.
But we are straying from the main question! Does the Word of God allow for a single man to be recognized as an elder? We are not sure that the statement that an elder “must be the husband of one wife” would, by itself, settle the issue. Certainly, it would forbid him to have more than one. The addendum “having faithful children…” would certainly necessitate marriage, but some might judge that the caveat “if married” could be understood to apply to both requirements.
Related Questions
“Suppose an elder was married but his wife has died?” Such a man would be free to marry another and that would not transgress the “husband of one wife” command. If he did not remarry and his children were not grown and away from home, he would find it difficult to properly care for his family and continue to serve as before. “What about a marriage in which God has granted no children? Could the husband be an elder?” With the cooperation of his wife, a man of this type could be a tremendous asset to any company of believers. Many of us have benefited from the service of couples in this situation. May we suggest that “having faithful children” certainly contributes to the desirable assets for an elder, but not having children does not rule out a man from being recognized in this role.
To sum up then: The opinion of this writer is that the Scriptures do not answer our question directly. Our advice would be that any single servant of the Lord would do well to work closely with others who are married. When faced with questions that involve the marriage relationship or family life he might be wise, in most cases, to ask if he could share this with one of the married brethren.