Overseers often encounter situations where not only wisdom and tact are called for, but also some restraint. Christian women in desperate domestic situations (and unfortunately their number is increasing) need counsel. It would be unwise for a man to become too involved. Public ministry, as in a Family Bible Hour, may allow general principles to be covered, such as those given by Paul in Ephesians 5:22-24 or by Peter in 1 Peter 3:1-6, but these will not answer all the personal practical problems that arise when a woman attempts to implement what these Scriptures teach. If an elder’s wife has inspired the confidence of any who need counsel in this way, she and her husband might together offer help. But still there are those details in which a woman needs the wise advice of a woman alone, and not every elder’s wife will have the confidence, desire, ability, and emotional strength to cope with this need.
IS IT SCRIPTURAL?
Happy is the assembly which has in its fellowship any godly women who can answer the Holy Spirit’s charge in Titus 2:1-4 to “teach [the young women] to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at [or ‘of the’] home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.” This passage in no way contradicts what the author wrote under the same Spirit’s direction in 1 Corinthians 14. In that passage, meetings of the church are in view. Also the word “teach” in the Titus text would be better translated “train.” The etymology or original formation of a word used in Greek is not always the best way to discover or illustrate its meaning, but W.E.Vine, in his Expository Dictionary, informs us that the word used for “train…to be sober” (sophronizo) is made up of two words that together might be literally translated “save the mind.” Especially in a situation where a husband is overbearing or some form of abuse is involved, this kind of help is needed. Others may need instruction in understanding what it means to be a home maker, etc.
A WORD OF CAUTION
Any Christian woman who is mature, godly, and has given a good example in her own home should be encouraged by the elders to help younger women who are struggling with domestic problems. We need to take the instructions to Titus seriously, and shepherds should not feel they are being sidestepped by a sister who fulfills this needed ministry. On her part she should, without betraying the confidence of any she is trying to help, keep in close touch with the elders. Inter-dependence is desirable and any difference of counsel ought to be carefully avoided.
Like so much of the service rendered in a church, the above does not depend on official recognition or title, but results from a loving concern for others; not to be something to be undertaken out of a sense of duty but of love.
What then are we saying to our fellow elders? Simply, do not be threatened by any woman who, in a scriptural way, wants to give instruction to her peers in a gathering of ladies or on a one-to-one basis in a home, but encourage her by your prayers and advice. She is a blessed asset to your assembly.