The telephone rings and you answer the phone. “Hi, Bill. This is Tom. I’m with the Yoohoo Telemarketing Company.” He then launches into his sales pitch as you try to get off the phone. But he called you by your first name and you have never even met him. Many people are irked by this feigned intimacy. A first name relationship is for friends, right?
But much of society is marked by informality and this can tend to lead to disrespect. Perhaps we are too much an egalitarian society, treating all on the same level. There is a place for respect, for deference and for honor.
Above all there should be reverence and respect for God. Some so called contemporary services are marked by hilarious informality. God is treated as a good old Boy up in heaven. People treat Him casually, hardly with a sense of awe. Hear the word of God through Malachi: “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is My reverence? says the Lord of hosts. (Mal. 1:6, nkjv)
The Psalmist writes, “Honor and majesty are before Him. Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary” (Ps. 96:6). Perhaps we need more of the experience of Isaiah who had a vision of the glory of God and cried out, “Woe is me for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts” (Isa. 6:5). We need to remember, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the Holy is understanding” (Prov. 9:10).
There should be respect for civil authorities. Scripture states that they are “God’s ministers” (Rom. 13:6). They are needed to keep law and order and to promote the good of a society. Therefore Paul exhorts: “Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor” (Rom. 13:7). We are not to address the President by his first name; he is “Mr. President” and we accord him the honor of his office. This is to be true of other officials as well.
Scripture encourages respect for age. As people age and the vigor of youth ebbs away, they need to know that they still have value and that their wisdom is appreciated. “You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God; I am the Lord” (Lev. 19:32). “The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness” (Prov. 16:31). Men and women who come to old age with an unsullied reputation have been victorious in the battle against sin. Scripture says, “Honor them.”
In a culture which glorifies youth and resists ageing, we need to encourage respect for those older than we are. In my judgement, children should be taught not to call older people by their first names. Call them Mr. or Mrs. In camp work often older workers are called “Uncle” or “Aunt.” This emphasizes the loving relationship of God’s family. In an assembly a man may be called “Brother” or a woman “Sister.” T. B. Gilbert led me to the Lord years ago. His given name was “Bruce” but those of us who were younger always called him “Brother Gilbert.” In the southern U.S., children may use a given name with Mr., such as “Mr. Bill” or “Ms. May.” This adds respect to intimacy, a nice touch.
Certainly parents should be treated with respect. “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex. 20:12). This honor means obedience while living at home and respect and care throughout life (Eph. 6:1; 1 Tim. 6:16). Many aged and infirm live lonely, neglected lives, quietly awaiting death. Children need to embrace them with love as they grow older.
Love will respect every person as made in the image of God, and love should characterize the Christian assembly. “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (Rom. 12:10).
Written by Donald L. Norbie