A wise son heareth his father’s instruction”; “A fool despiseth his father’s instruction” (Prov. 13:1; 15:5). Many assembly problems would never become serious if we could wisely give and receive correction. Here is God’s advice:
ON THE MATTER OF GIVING CORRECTION
1. Include praise. The Lord gives us this example in His assessment of the seven churches (Rev. 2-3). He identified what was good about them before exposing what was bad.
2. Verify the facts. Paul cites the Lord’s words of Deuteronomy 19:15 in 1 Timothy 5:19 in regard to establishing an accusation against an elder. Mere gossip and rumor should never be the basis on which we venture to correct another. Get the facts before you act.
3. Begin privately. With private offences we are taught to “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone” (Mt. 18:15). This was the example of the Lord regarding Peter (1 Cor. 15:5). And in his case the wrong was well known, but the Lord would not embarrass His disciple.
4. Let people know you care. Correction is not just about righteousness. It is about grace as well. It is a child of God that we are dealing with. Remember the Lord’s parable of Matthew 18: “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant?” (v. 33). Paul reminds us to speak “the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15).
5. Consider yourself. There is nothing quite like self-examination to temper our rebuke of others (Gal. 6:1). None of us is above error or failure.
6. Know when to act–with “a word fitly spoken,” says the proverb. There is a time to hold our peace and there is a time to act. To refrain from acting at the right time is as bad as acting rightly but at the wrong time. The counsel of elders would be useful in the matter of timing. Prayer is a vital resource in all areas of giving correction.
7. Watch who and how you correct. Paul warned Timothy about rebuking an elder (1 Tim. 5:1). Not all old men are wise. But some are. Not all young men are foolish. But some are. When you see the need to correct a more experienced believer, approach the situation with care. Be careful that your correction is not an expression of inexperience. Paul was also careful to advise Timothy not to let any man despise his youth. He encouraged young Timothy to be faithful in the Scriptures, for that is our final authority, not human experience. Nevertheless, be especially cautious when dealing with a senior saint.
ON RECEIVING CORRECTION
1. Consider who is doing the correcting. The writer says,”Remember them which have the rule over you…whose faith follow…” (Heb. 13:7). The writer adds, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account…” (13:17). I might resist an elder’s correction, but I cannot dismiss his motive. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6).
2. Is God speaking? I need to pay special attention when a group of spiritual men point out something in my life. It is highly unlikely that an entire body of elders would be wrong about their correction or counsel. When the shepherds speak, it could be the Lord Himself.
3. My reaction should be Christlike. Don’t get into an argument with your brother or sister. Conversations that end with words of strife are not of God (see 1 Tim. 3:3-6). The sad stories of Christians losing their tempers, speaking unkind words, childishly stomping off and leaving the assembly because they were spoken to about something is unacceptable. Always react with grace and submission. We are to be “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:21).
4. Commit disagreeable counsel to God. The purpose of correction is to bring my life in line with the will of God. Therefore I have the privilege of bringing this all to the Lord. When I determine I want His will, then I can freely speak to Him about the difficult parts. I do not need to make excuses. Prayer has way of putting things in perspective and helps me sort out good counsel from bad. Make correction a matter of prayer.
Correction. Be kind. Be faithful. Be careful.