Fathers in the Bible have a mixed record. Some were godly, and so were their children. Some were godly, but their children were not. Some were ungodly, but their children were godly and some were ungodly, and so were their children.
God Himself is portrayed like a father in the Old Testament, and the New Testament shows us He is our Father. Dads are important to God. While the New Testament addresses fathers in the realm of the home, the obedience to His instructions will be felt in the assembly.
For example, be an example. Fathers make a lot of decisions in the family lifestyle. It is vital therefore that fathers teach that lifestyle by example. If I think my children watch too much television, I better check my time with the tube. If I want my children to read their Bibles more, then maybe they will get the idea if I read my Bible more. This business of being an example can take over our lives.
For instance, if I want my children to be a positive help in the assembly, then I should be one. And what about conversation in the home about the assembly? It is unwise to talk about assembly difficulties with a critical spirit in front of children. If I am a critic, they will be, too. Fathers should guard the family discussion.
The local assembly is an essential place to be. The family schedule should recognize that. Determine not to get involved with things that will inevitably conflict with the assembly. Sports, hobbies, optional work and business opportunities will never get first place. There may be unavoidable exceptions, but they should stay exceptions and not the rule of life. Fathers often have to make these decisions. Keeping the Lord first in everything sets the perfect example.
As a father, my conduct in the assembly should be consistent with my conduct at home. A glaring inconsistency in this will confuse my children and hurt the assembly. No use standing in the assembly meetings using one kind of language and at home using another.
But fathers have a duty to be encouragers as well. Positive recognition towards others goes a long way. This does not just include our own family. Some folks are annoyingly preoccupied with their own family, but have little time or sympathy for others. My family will be affected for good if they see their father being good to others. Encourage and rejoice in others’ accomplishments. The flesh loves to promote self and has a hard time seeing others recognized. But a father who knows how to offer encouragement, both inside the home and out, will be an asset to the assembly as well as at home.
Paul exhorts fathers in both Ephesians and Colossians to keep from angering children. Constant correction becomes wearying. Demanding too much too soon can discourage. Remember, children are not perfect. Neither are fathers.
Fathers can extend themselves to be part-time fathers for others. Many young people come to the assembly without Christian parents. A father should show an interest and try and be a help to them. One has to use discretion. Don’t cause problems by intruding into areas you have no authority. But show a warm, friendly interest in Christian young people.
Fathers bring experience to the assembly. Timothy and Titus both show us that family life is training for elder’s work. The Word of God reasons that if a man cannot rule his own house, he will not be able to take care of the church of God. It is not just a matter of being overbearing and keeping visible signs of rebellion out of view, but bringing up children in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). This same approach is essential in caring for the flock of God. This involves training, nurture, and admonition, love, patience, prayer, and teaching. If I am going to nurture and admonish in the Lord, I am going to have to know what that is myself. It will mean knowing His Word and desiring a godly walk.
They say being a father today is tough. I am not sure it ever was easy. We are all sinners, even our children. Ours is not the first society to declare war on God’s plan for the family. But God intended it to work. Millions of godly men have found that it can work. When it does, it cannot help but overflow into the local church.